Losing Fear
by Old-Syd
Summary: Booth dreams about Brennan and she blames herself for knowing it.Just a One Shot. Please read and review!


**I know I should finish **_**Faith and Those Things**_**, but this came to me as I was boring at the University. I promise that I'll post another chapter of FaTT soon (I already have the fic finished on paper, I just have to find time to write it on the PC). By the way, University sucks!**

**English is not my first language so if you find _any_ mistake please let me Know.

* * *

**

"Bones" Just a whisper, but one of the wet ones. Those that you can't stop from escaping when you are having a wet dream.

Nothing he hadn't done many other times before. He usually has this kind of dreams so vivid that he can almost feel the touches, the kisses, the sex as if it all was real. Sometimes raw and hard, sometimes soft and slowly but always with her.

Always her.

It was usual for him to wake up in the morning to find a bed with messed sheets, waiting to find someone - _she - _there. But always alone.

Today was like every morning except for one thing. This time she was there. He wasn't awake but she was. She was fully awake to hear what he had just said and kwon exactly what that meant.

The sound of a voice when it was under the effects of sex.

Me.

He's calling me in one of his wet dreams, while he's hugging me. Oh God, pressing me against his hard – and I mean hard in every possible way – body.

And he is just in his boxers and t-shirt and I'm just in my night clothes.

Should I wake him up? It would be the right thing to do, wouldn't it? But to tell him what? Hey buddy, what were you dreaming about, you have just said my name. Even I know that that would be weird. Besides, it feels so good, his hand in my belly holding me hard against him. Feeling his hot body warming mine from the inside.

But it is a scary feeling at the same time. And it's all my fault, my damned fault. We wouldn't be in this position if it weren't because of me.

But let's go back to the beginning.

It was a day as normal as any other and Brennan was at the Jeffersonian working in some of the old bones from the unknown people.

She was trying to figure out to whom those bones belonged or which one had been the cause of the dead when someone called for her.

"Dr. Brennan!" It was one of the Jeffersonian workers. "You have a call".

"I'm busy" she answered from behind her working glasses without even bother to look up. "Tell whoever it is to call later or let a message".

"You sure? The man said it was something important".

"Fine. I'll take it in my office". She hates this kind of distractions. She preferred to finish something once she had started it before doing anything else but she wasn't always able to do it. Often there was something important that needed to be done first like this time.

When she picked up the phone a known voice came to her ear. "Ms Brennan, sorry if I'm interrupting but I needed to contact you".

"Why?" Always so talkative.

"We have detected a gas leak in the building and we are informing all the owners to evacuate until we know that it's save to come back".

She thought about yelling at this man and makes him fix it right then but she knew it wasn't really his fault so she did the right thing. "How long would it take?"

"I told the mechanics to do it as fast as they could, I think that by tomorrow night it will be over".

"Well, I hope so. Thank you". She hung up the phone while falling into her chair.

Which were her possibilities? She could go to a hotel or she could talk to Angela and ask her if she could stay at her place for the night. After all that's what friends do, right?

Making a mental note to talk to Angela later she headed again to where those bones were to finally get over her work.

Later that day she was at her office working on her next novel when Angela came in.

"Hi sweetie,you wanna come with me to eat something?" Angela had come in the right moment, Brennan was really hungry. "Sure, let me take my things" Also it was the perfect moment to talk to her about the night. "Besides, I want to ask you something".

"Hi girls, I'm starving you want to come with me? I invite" Booth has come in without being noticed.

"Count with me. I can't say no to that offer!" He was glad to hear that but Brennan hadn't answered yet. "And you Bones, What do you say?"

"Of course, I'm in too, I'm also starving".

Once Brennan had picked her things and they were heading out Angela remembered that her friend was trying to tell her something when Booth had interrupted them.

"Brennan what were you saying back in your office?" It took her a while to realize what her friend was talking about but she finally understood.

"Oh yeah, I was about to ask if I could stay at your place tonight". Booth was the faster speaking "Why? What happened to your flat?"

"Nothing, it's just a gas leak, it would be over by tomorrow or so they told me".

"I…" Angela began to say but stopped thinking about something. Of course she didn't mind letting Brennan sleep at her house but she had a better plan. She had always said that between her friend and her partner there was something more than a partnership and she was eager to prove it. If her friend wasn't going to do anything about it she would have to. Just give them a little push. If Booth was a gentleman – and she was sure he was – he would offer Brennan his home.

"I'm sorry Bren any other night I wouldn't mind but tonight it's impossible for me…I'm really sorry".

Brennan had been counting with a yes so it took her by surprised. "Oh well, it doesn't mind. I can stay in a hotel."

"No way Bones! You know you have more friends besides Angela, right? You can stay in my place".

She didn't know what to answer but it was her best option. "You sure you don't mind? I don't want to bother". With a smile on his face he neared her and put his arm around her back bringing her closer to him.

"You won't bother Bones, at least no more than usual". And laughing at his comment she slapped him in the chest.

"Really Bones, there's no problem. You can stay in Parker's bedroom the decoration it's a little childish but it's all I have".

"I don't mind the decoration, it's just for a night Booth". She said as they entered the restaurant, she sat opposite to her partner with Angela at her right. "It's okay if I go to your place about 7 or so?"

"Yes, I'll be waiting you".

Angela who had been almost ignored all the way to the restaurant took the turn to talk "I'm glad you get a place to stay. I would have felt very bad if you hadn't". She said it trying to show sadness in her face but all happy on the inside. Her plan had worked, now if they put something on their on tomorrow things would be very different.

Half past seven and she was knocking at his door.

He opened the door in jeans and a sleeveless t-shirt and he is so hot. Maybe I should have turned down his offer of staying here but I wouldn't have had any excuse to do it and I'm sure he wouldn't have stopped asking until I told him something.

No. Since the moment those words came out of his mouth I knew that whatever I said I was going to end right here.

He opened the door, I should say something right?

"Sorry I'm late, I had to go to the mall and get some clothes for tonight and to wear tomorrow. I can't go two days wearing the same clothes, can I?" I said it so fast that I'm not eve sure if he was able to understand anything I said.

"It's okay Bones, come in".

Before I could say anything more I heard a yelling voice coming from somewhere inside Booth's apartment and then I saw who it was. "It's Dr. Brennan already here daddy?"

Parker.

What's he doing here? Booth didn't tell me anything about sleeping with a little boy.

"Hi Dr. Brennan!"

I was so shocked that I didn't realized that Parker had taken my hand and was pulling me down for a kiss until I felt his lips on my cheek. It felt so…I don't know how to explain it, nice maybe. I couldn't stop myself from smiling.

"Hi to you too Parker". Once he let my hand free I stand up and turned to Booth sending him a 'look'. One of those that say 'What's going on here?'.

He seemed to understand because he asked Parker to go wash his teeth so we could stay alone and talk.

"I'm sorry Parker is here, Rebecca called me two hours ago saying me that she had something important to do and asked me to take Parker for the night. We will solve the bed thing some way".

He said he was sorry and he really looked as if he was. I didn't get why. "It's not your fault, you don't have to be sorry about anything, besides you should be happy he's here".

"Actually I'm. You really don't mind him being here?"

"Of course not" Somehow my words eased him, and his face relaxed.

Parker seemed to have finished washing his teeth cause suddenly he was again besides me and holding my hand.

He stroked it a little to get me to look down at him. "My daddy promised me we could watch a movie tonight before we go to bed. You wanna watch it with us?"

What was I supposed to say? "Sure".

"Cool! Come on, I want to show you my bedroom" He pulled from my hand to carry me to his bedroom but suddenly he stopped at his father's voice.

"Parker don't bother Dr. Brennan" The kid released my hand and put a sad face on. It was so difficult not to say yes to anything he asked for with that face. Actually I do know from whom he inherited it. I know he was just trying to make me free from his son because he knows I'm not very good at kids but I wasn't willing to be the "bad guy" tonight. " He's not bothering".

"Really Bones?" Always so gentleman.

"Really".

"Okay, then I'll just go make dinner". I almost couldn't hear Booth saying the last words because Parker had already took my hand again and was taking me to his room.

He stopped in front of his bedroom's door. "You are gonna see the coolest thing ever, my daddy did it for me".

As Parker turned on the light it seems as if she was being carried to a new place. She could see why Parker said it was the coolest thing. ""What do you think?" This room was very different to any other in Booth's house. A blue light illuminating the room, the walls painted as if they were in the middle of the ocean, with underwater animals like some fish, a turtle, a while…It was beautiful, it was like being suddenly transported to a new world, an aquatic one. And Booth had done this.

It was…unbelievable.

"You are right Parker, this is amazing".

"Yeah, totally. I told you!" He went to his closet and kneel on the floor "You want to help me choose the film?"

She was still paralyzed but she managed to say a coherent sentence. "I think I let that for you, I should go help your daddy with the dinner".

"Please don't he doesn't need you, he's a great cooker" Again that smile, like I said it's impossible to say no to that little face.

"Fine, I'll help you find a movie".

They spent like twenty minutes to choose one. There were many films Parker wanted to see and he could only take one. He ended taking Spiderman.

"Guys the dinner it's already served, hurry up!"

Parker took the film he had chosen and went running to where his father was, letting Brennan behind. She stopped a few minutes in front of the door contemplating the view before turning off the light and going meet the boys.

We ate at the couch while watching the film, it was very nice. Parker was at my left and Booth at my right. When Parker ended eating he did something I wasn't expecting at all. He put his dish on the table but when he come back he didn't sat in his earlier position, he sat on my knees and rested his head against my right shoulder like if it was a pillow. Then he took my arms and put them around him.

Brennan wasn't able to see the smile on Booth face as his son cuddle against his partner.

By the end of the film Parker was already asleep on Brennan's lap, she tried not to move so much in order to not wake up the boy. Even with the movie over they stayed at the couch talking for a while.

"I'm sorry you had to baby-sit my boy".

"Yeah well, it wasn't that hard. You have a great kid" We were talking softly so we didn't wake up Parker but at the same time the speaking softly thing created a very weird atmosphere between us.

"Booth, what you did with Parker's bedroom it's amazing, and I really mean it".

"You think? I wanted to do something special for his birthday and I thought that making his bedroom more 'cool' would make him happy". He had a sad shadow in his face, the same one he always has when he talk about his son. I know how much he loves him and how not being able to be with him all the time makes him so sad.

"I'm not very good at kids but I think you get what you wanted. I think he's pretty happy with his present". He didn't say anything back, he just stared at me as if he was seeing something new and he liked it.

"Have you changed your mind about not having kids?".

"No Booth, I haven't. I told you once that I'm not good at kids, I don't get them or they don't get me but we don't click. Besides, I don't know how to talk to a child. If I ever have one he would be very disappointed at me. I can't have a kid, not when I know it would be a mistake. It wouldn't be fair for that little kid."

He didn't stopped looking at me as I said every word, It was a little disturbing. I knew he was seeing something but I couldn't identify what.

"I don't know why you always say that kind of things, Parker adores you and even when kids grow up very fast, the last time I took a look at him he was still a little boy and he was very happy with you Bones. Maybe you would be different to other mothers, but different doesn't mean bad."

Something inside me was turning on with hope as he talked, but I couldn't let it light up everything on me. I just couldn't. What if he was wrong? What if different does mean bad? The one suffering would be the kid and I can't take that risk".

"Stop Booth, I decided this when I lived in the children's aid and I saw all those little kids abandoned by their parents. No. I can't risk being one of those mothers. I may have decided it when I was just a teenager but through years 'til now I haven't changed my mind".

"I'm really sorry to hear that cause I actually do know that you wouldn't abandon your kid, you are not like that and I hope you realized some day". We stayed in silence what looked like hours until Booth finally got up, came to me and took his son from my lap. "It's time to take Parker to his room, it's too late".

To take his boy from me he had to lean over me. He fixed his eyes on mines and smiled "I know you are changing your mind".

That's was he was seeing before into my eyes. Could he read me like this? Can't I even keep a secret I don't even know I have from him? That thought scared the hell out of me.

Lost in mine thoughts I didn't realized that Booth had entered into the room again. "Bones, I'm going to get change, you can do the same".

"Yeah, thank you" I took the bag I had brought and went to the bathroom, there I got changed into my night clothes and brushed my teeth. When I was ready to go to bed I got out and went to find Booth. He was at his bedroom taking some sheets from a closet.

He smiled when he saw me.

"You can sleep in the bed, I'll do it on the couch".

"What? No!" I surprised him with my reaction, so I had to explain myself. "This is your house, I'll sleep on the couch, besides, I have slept in worst places, a couch is nothing".

He seemed annoyed about what I was saying. "I don't mind if you have slept in worst places or not, but here in my house you are not taking the couch".

I knew I wasn't going to convince him to sleep on the bed but I also knew that he wouldn't be getting what he wanted either…"Okay, we are grown people, right?" He nodded "Then we can just act like them".

"And how is that? I'm dying to know what grown people do in this situation" I knew he just wanted to tease me but he wasn't going to get it. "We are both going to sleep on the bed". He look at me in disbelieve. "You are kidding me"

Damned me I wasn't.

"I'm not" I was already in the bed "Besides, your bed is big enough for both of us" I saw the doubt in his eyes, he was a gentleman after all.

"Come on, come in". Finally he give up and lain besides me.

And that's how we get to me being hugged by him, being pushed against his hard on and listening to him saying my name in his sleep.

Hearing this makes me think that maybe this is not the first time he dreams about me. Makes me think that maybe in his dreams I can see him naked, and maybe I'm naked too and it's not forbid for me to touch him.

The possibilities scare me. I can't risk losing him the same way I can't risk having a baby even when something inside me is fighting to turn on the light and let it illuminate everything on me. But I'm afraid that if I let it on it will burn me from the inside and consume me until I'm turned into nothing else than ashes.

But then you push me harder against you making me feel the warm of your body, your essence filling me. I can't handle thinking that maybe this was meant to be.

That maybe we were are meant to be together.

So I hope you can wait for me because some day I will stop being afraid, and that day the light could burn me, make me ashes, do whatever it wants with me and I won't mind because that day I'll make your dreams, and my dreams come true.

* * *

**So what? Do I deserve a little time from you? Please just a minute to say something!**

**Push the bottom! Let me know what you think!**


End file.
